There is a universal blind spot (particularly in type-A leaders): Self Reflection. Pushing the pause button long enough to know what’s happening in my life and heart. And there is an illusion that leaders believe: you can increase speed while keeping your soul line headed the same direction. But at some point, increased speed begins to cause a disconnect with our soul. We go too fast for our soul - for the people in our life.
Bill Hybels references a conversation with his daughter. He asked her if she could quickly explain her point. Her response was, "No, I’ll come back when you’re able to listen really slow.” So what do you do? Do you need to flatten out your speed and spend a season refueling the soul to bring the two lines together? What do you need to do to bring the soul line closer to the speed line in your life?
Much of the speed issue is related to connection. Who are you connected to? Often a leader’s world consists of these four corners:
Corner #1: No Connection.
Like your phone trying to find a connection, your brain is not going to work if it is isolated.
Corner #2: The Bad Connection.
This is to be in relationship with people but not connected. This often rears its head by a feeling of "In some way, I’m bad. I can’t meet their expectations." Sometimes this bad connection is just the voices in your own head.
Corner #3: Good Connection.
This is where you want to feel good, but it’s a fake good. A substance, an illicit relationship, an addiction, drive to greater numbers. Dig deep and ask yourself, "What is masking what is good?"
Corner #4: Real Connection.
The power of the other. This is the only real driver: to make my needs known and let someone else help with those needs. Come home to Corner #4.
So what corner do you find yourself in most often? Why? What prohibits you from to going to Corner #4?
There is a second illusion: The Illusion of Achievement. The idea of if I hit “x”, then I’ll be satisfied. Many believers believe the myth, "You are what you do. You are what other people think of you." Have you gotten to the point where you are simply buried in tasks, to-do lists, and worry constantly of slipping into failure? Is productivity and efficiency running your life instead of your identity, your core, your purpose? The love you are looking for is not found in the hustle.
Create spaces of margin to find it in the relationships around you, in prayer, in solitude. It is in the music, people, and stories of our lives. It is not in the numbers, the report cards, or scales. It is not in what you can calculate. It is found in being exactly who you are, from Love himself, our Creator. Run a "Satisfaction Audit" on yourself using a scale of one to ten. Is the hustle worth it? Are you chasing something that is simply going to leave you unsatisfied?
Try spending 10 - 15 minutes a day reflecting on what you’re doing, where you’re going, and whether or not you're on the right path. Quiet yourself and self-reflect. I guarantee this will change your life. God will speak into those quiet moments and refuel your soul.