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Wow. That was the sentiment from my friend I met with last night. The context was this:

“Mark, I went back to church this past month (Granger Community Church, my church) and couldn’t help but be frustrated by some conversations I overhear in the lobby and think, you fake SOB! I don’t know what it is but it seems that the older I get I have this radar that can spot fake people, it’s like a Fake Radar. I see it in the business world….church….everywhere…”

Ugh. But if I’m honest, much of what he is saying is right on… This reflects a piece of what the book “Unchristian” discusses with the real perception our culture has about Christians.

So what makes us appear fake?

• The obvious one is hypocrisy. If we pretend we have it all together, life is good, our jobs, marriages, kids, friends, and thoughts are perfect… newsflash, the masses can sniff that out in a hurry… and if they know you at all… they know you’re pretending and you’re then a hypocrite.
• How we talk. I think we mean well, but I believe our attempts to give God the glory, “in all our ways acknowledge Him”, “in everything give thanks”, and our practice of trying to live a life of holiness… it comes out as statements like “Praise the Lord”, “God told me…”, or verbally thanking God outloud 164 times a day. To the masses, this doesn’t register and they either think it’s all fake or that you simply live life 3 steps away from the cuckoo nest.
• We judge without relationship. We can be so flippant about the statements we make to people and about people. How can we really know what’s going on deep within someone without having a close relationship with them? We skip the “seeking to understand” piece which leaves the impression of us as judges without planks in our own eye.

The result? We look like characters in a fictional play rather than being relevant or real.

The rest of my conversation centered last night centered around this:

• We don’t have to be that way. We can be real, authentic and get to the work of changing the world. Whatever you don’t like about the fake Christians you encounter…. well… don’t be like that.
• Let our actions speak louder than our words. There are hungry people, we should feed them. There are oppressed people, we should free them. There are people that are overwhelmed, we should help relieve their burden.
• Build real relationships with those without Christ or lacking in faith. Why should they care about your opinion or seek your help if you’re not doing life with them? I can talk to my friend about working on a great marriage, how to face challenges with kids, or stress in the workplace when I have a relationship with him. And let’s be real, my friends help me as much (and often more) than I can help them. It’s in these real, quiet, intimate conversations that we can point them to Jesus. He either is who He is or not, right?
• God did not call us to be fake, He called us to change the world and find His purpose in and through us.

We can do better. This isn’t about shying away from our faith and keeping it hidden… it’s about being effective and letting our internal faith drive love and authenticity. I love my friend and his candid conversation. This is the world we live in, this is who we are to serve. And friend, if you happen to read this, I’m so thankful for our relationship and what you’ve added in my life over all these years. I hope we can connect soon and keep pressing in…. let’s not let either of us settle for mediocrity…

It’s easier to be a far right whacko. Whacko in the nicest sense of the word…

For that matter… any belief systems, sets of rules, political bent (whether far right or far left) that gives me my marching orders to live by regardless of the reactions and input around us is an easier road.

• If I alienate people around me, it’s OK because my “cause” is bigger than them- it’s OK if they think I’m a whacko because they’re just wrong
• Slowly the people that disagree with me will gradually fall away and I’ll be surrounded with people that think just like me
• If I do enter conversations, it’s primarily to “help” people understand why what they believe is wrong with a smile on my face
• It eliminates confusion because EVERYTHING is black and white

What’s harder?

• To live in the conversation. Am I creating more conversations or shutting people down when talking about my faith or issues?
• Building a friendship. Am I seeking to understand and learning about a new friend or am I offering premature, drive-by opinions?
• To be silent. Am I willing to process and filter statements made or do I feel the need to always speak my mind?
• Having my actions speak louder than my words. Am I living a life and carrying myself at work in a way that’s attracting people or am I repelling people because of my engrained, rigid beliefs?
• Crossing the line and mistakes. Living in the conversation has me on a line at times that I screw up in what I do or say (and regret). Sometimes I can be too loose and managing the edge can be very difficult.
  

I believe we can be strong, bold and effective. I believe I’m forgiven for my mistakes. I want to genuinely love and care for people. But this is the much harder road.

If you’re stuck on the word “whacko” still- point made.